wanna go halves on a baby?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
