ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
