PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
