Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize