No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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