So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
