Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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