i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
