I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
