Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
