I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
