white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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