what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
