So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
