Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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