i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize