We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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