you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this just has baby written all over it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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