Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
