Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i now understand why vodka
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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