Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
