So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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