Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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