Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
