I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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