i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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