Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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