She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
