I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
