READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
