Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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