Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
