just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
