i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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