is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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