like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
