Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
