He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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