so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
