Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
