Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
