CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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