I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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