when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
