Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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