So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
home. puking in laundry basket.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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