Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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