i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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