Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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