What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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