i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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