He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
