Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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