Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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