Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
