honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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