There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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