Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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