Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
