R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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