you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i love accidental penises.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
