I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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