Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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