So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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