Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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