I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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