I didn't shave. On purpose
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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