I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
