bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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