And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
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