I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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