is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
